Why on earth are we disillusioned to our own state of falleness (which is actually not a real word) ? Or, to make it more appropriate to my actual thoughts right now, what makes me so prideful to think that I should get it right all the time?
Justified? Yes.
Arrived at complete total sanctification? Heck no.
Can we be prideful about how worthless we are? mmHmm. There's something satisfactory in taking pride within self-deprecation and not allowing ourselves the true peace that surpasses understanding.
I've been in and out of a terrible funk that has been unusually heavy the past few weeks and tonight it was figured out to be an old demon attacking from a different angle.
I was actually angry that all I was getting was nice comments and no sort of actual criticism. It was pure and sure madness I tell you!
One RA is going to be better at engaging with the girls on a personal level, another better at programming fantastic events, and yet another will be fantastic at maintaing a peaceful state of unity on their floor. There is only one who is "Good" and that is God alone. I can barely handle being alright at my few things before I fall to pieces about not being the greatest there ever was. Thousands of people go through colleges and careers going relatively unnoticed. Tthe question that should be asked at the end of it all is not if they were teacher of the year or the leader of a revolution on their campus, but whether or not they took the gifts that God gave them and used them to live well.
That's a bag full of knick-knack thoughts right there. Not yet sorted, but stay tuned. I have a lifetime of figuring things out ahead. It could end tomorrow or 80 years from now, but hey what else am I going to do? Paint my nails?
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