It's a lip . . . it's a lip lip lip!

I look like a dog baring its teeth . . . a dog that went hog-wild with botox (hog-wild? hmm). Stinking wisdom teeth. Chipmunk? Pretty much yeah . . . Just know, I'm smiling on the inside :-)

2:21 AM

I can't sleep. Perhaps it's because I'm going to get four barely visible mullers yanked from my jaw in 6 hours, or the fact that I'm a spazz. . . both will work. Today I've been thinking about the Mercy of God.

Mercy in the sense of how, is such a ridiculous creature like myself allowed to be blessed in such amazing ways? Blessed to touch and love those around me. It should spread. It's intense, humbling, and shocking all at the same time. Is it deserved or earned?

Heck No.

There are SO many people with SO much less. I want them to know the joy that is the Lord's. To fear the Lord is to begin to know wisdom, a handy companion I hear. Be wise and fear the omnicient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.

We love and whatever ways we can. Remember: Your parents could have done worse. And if someone reading this has had the "worst of the worst", for it truly exists, I pray that your heart may be healed and that you might know the perfect love that HE has for you and that I get to be an instrument of His love.

My dad took me to his favorite bookstore in San Francisco today. Even though we've struggled in the past, it meant a lot to me. Clement St. is my favorite at the moment.

I get to hold a hand and pray earnestly for God's will above all else, and know that He, the owner of the hand, is praying a similar prayer 'cause likes Jesus more than me. . . Thank God!

Faith: It colors my world with brilliance and hope during trials and tribulations. Without it, why bother to look beyond the gray duldrums of concrete and iron?

You who know the goodness of God, walk in Mercy and act Justly (Micah 6:8)

There is beauty. There is hope. There is love.
. . . and it's all because there is God.

Marxist Literary Criticism

. . . Oh how I hate thee. But only for this brief period in my life. I may actually be learning a lot about my major whilst writing this paper, but I can only hope that it will spur me on in my endeavor for that bloody English degree. I can't help but look at a lot of these critical theories and think "GET A LIFE YA WEIRDO. STOP GOING OVERBOARD WITH THE ANALYZING." At least that was my original inclination towards critical approaches to literature. Oye Ve God forbid I might end up interested in my undergraduate discipline, EEGATZ. Larsen would be killing my grade at this moment for using words in all capital letters because it "does not give credit to the power of the language itself."

It is now 6:25 in the am. I am currently experiencing some of the side effects of intense sleep deprivation. A little shaky . . . ok a lot shaky . . . as well as an inability to organize and keep my thoughts consistent in clear without intense effort. My fingers are no longer receieving adequate brain-waves and do not type with ease. The delete key is my new best friend as my spelling gets worse and worse with the coming of each hour. This is insanity. I did painted my nails for the first time in maybe 6 years. That happened around 5am during one of my "breaks" to keep my body active. I just forced myself up out of my spare-bed, one of the joys of being roommate-less is being able to have all lights on full blast and an extra bed to crash on when work consumes the top of the usual sleep dwelling.

Bedelia's Back in Action

So it's been a long time since I wrote in anything consistently. I realize the previous statement has yet to be verified, but here's to hoping. The fun thing is that no one knows about this little blog of mine yet, so we'll see. Blogging on myspace has never been enticing for me because the focus seemed to be everywhere but thoughts and writing. It could also be possible that I am just weird about writing, and that is certainly a possibility as it has been a common occurrence in the past. Anywho, for those who stumble upon these ridiculous and sometimes inspired musings (I have to give God the credit for anything worthwhile and unselfish written in this thing) remember that I am an imperfect English major. I love words and fight with them often. I also engage in violent duals with commas so prepar yourselves accordingly. More random thoughts to come. This is exciting!!! Love, peace, and all the grease that goes with it.
Blessed Be His Name
-Em